We can say, think, tweet, post, vlog all we want, but Donald Trump’s got a lot to teach us about success. So if your idea of success is being an obnoxious, chauvinistic, vulgar racist, yet one who is in sight of the US presidency, here’s what you can learn:
- Don’t mind your language: Cuss all you want all the time.
- Lie and keep lying: Say anything to make a point. Make up numbers and historic events, no matter how blatant. When people call you out, proving beyond doubt that you’re dishonest, just keep lying because there are plenty of poor bastards who don’t know any better.
- Bully bully and bully some more. Look for individuals to hate on. Threaten and insult them, especially if they are women. Women are defenseless creatures and it’s so easy and enjoyable to pick on their looks even when you yourself are a sorry eyesore.
- Know in your heart that the plebs will follow you. They have no brain of their own so they need a strong leader. Keep doing the above, and add occasional violence. Those suckers will stick with you.
- Paint yourself and your hair orange. You’re too blinded by your haughtiness to see it anyway.